Last weekend we ventured into the BIG CITY, I was born there but my hippie parents wanted us to have a memories of our childhood that contained less cement.
Instead it was replaced with bullies and heat in the triple digits.
Imagine their fear and shock when I was selected for an art college in another BIG CITY, telling them that I wanted excitement and adventure. Funds dried up fast and I was never able to attend the college that I had wanted....but that is totally fine because I worked my arse off and ended up sending myself around the world and having adventures of my own choosing.
So back to my reason for mentioning adventure...
We woke up early and decided to make a weekend of caffeine and art.
We were planned to go to 5 different coffee shops and a day trip.
We went to see a big exhibition on Samurai stuff....
|not real horses, but really good models and scary dudes|
|pretty dragonflies and wheat|
|"feathers" made from lacquered paper!|
it was wild and beautiful and impressive,
the swords were in another building and it was interesting as well.
The Barren was like a little kid and we spent a fair bit of time gazing at the details that were several hundreds of years old. This exhibit lead to another, of majestic landscapes and that was kind of boring...and then we entered a third exhibition...I am still haunted by it.
It was a retrospective of an artist and frankly there was no real information anywhere what anything was....so you were disoriented from the beginning.
We saw a trio of environment makers (fog, snow and rain) accompanying a sculpture that had an active beehive on its face:
this was next to a broken ice rink that was decomposing....and then a rock in a tank of water.
and a wall rubbing with a turtle fossil:
then we saw people coming in and out of a pair of curtains and the guards opened them and we went into a TOTALLY pitch black room, with nothing but "soothing" music and a smoke maker and cube of lights....
it was interesting but the air was stale and I started to not be able to breath, and The Barren was grabbing hold of me sooooo tightly that I think that might have helped restrict my airflow.
we left this room only to enter another that was showing a film, and as I settled onto a bench I saw the saucers of The Barren's eyes and I realized something was amiss...it was the film, it was a monkey wearing a human shaped mask, crawling on the floor...it was terrifying!
another tank was in the middle of the room with lights that made the water inside foggy and then clear....we left this room and passed through another with a film of something being thrown repeatedly...than a final tank that had crabs with Constantin Brancusi’s Sleeping Muse masks attached to them, dragging their overbearing shells across the sandy bottom.
The Barren left the room and the building,..I was still dazed and disoriented...
Apparently we missed the Ibizan hound that wanders the exhibition and the artist who shows up in an illuminated mask in that pitch black room!
Frankly I think I would have peed myself.
It was like being in a dream, and a david lynch film and something else all together!
Outside I felt like my brain had been electrified and I was on edge....we sat for a little while as we waited for the electricity to dissipate a little.
We visited some of my favorite artworks and I took some fan girl photos next to them.
Lunch was from a food truck and we both got indigestion.
|cool booth which is now an installed art piece|
The city was exciting and a reminder that we are not city dwellers....
We made it home by mid day and proceeded to fall into a deep nap until dinner.
A little more caffeine and we ventured into the night in our hometown.
This adventure was possible because of our ease of movement.
We encountered a lot of parents that looked mellow and handling it all.
Sleeping children and kids with maps looking for their treasure.
Then there were the others, singing opera in the art exhibition areas....running up and down the city streets, crying and refusing to eat what was being offered.
It was easy to have that moment of "aaah" we can come and go as we please. We can eat when we want, and see what we choose. There was a guilty kind of freedom associated with the day.
Our friends had moved the day before, and we helped only a little bit...and then walked away as their daughters searched for their items in the piles of unorganized goods.
We could do that.
I heard of another infertile that has become pregnant, she is on strict bed-rest for most of her pregnancy. I wish her well and will be interacting with this newest person through family events....but when I heard the news (which is still quite hush hush, so don't tell anyone)
my first thought was " ugh, I am too tired to think of going through all this again"
I know there will be comparisons to us again...and frankly I am just over it!
I have a big milestone birthday coming up and it is the age of no return in my mind.
I am not going to have kids, it is a matter of fact.
So I am going to live my life as happily as I can now, I am done with sadness and what ifs and maybe if I just try, and if I only....
I am whole, I have a family, I am not at fault.
This weekend we are doing another adventure!
and it includes BOOKS!!